She's happy for you... if she's happy first.
aka Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl
Only recently did Gossip Girl blond bombshell Serena stand up for herself to bestie and b*tch-in-resident Blair, who constantly undermined the bond Serena had with ex-boyf Dan. Plus, Blair always made sure Serena never shone brighter than she did. Try pulling the plug on this energy suck of a friend.
Your crew doesn't like outsiders.
aka the How I Met Your Mother lot
Significant others don't last long in the lives of the HIMYM friends. Ted's recent engagement to Stella ended supposedly for reasons other than the fact that she lived in New Jersey and the NYC-based crew had reservations about her. Remember the episode where Ted brought his date to meet everyone only to realize—through the "group" lens—how annoying she was? Even the married Lily and Marshall spend most waking moments with their mates, and we mean that in the British sense of the term. If we learned anything from Friends and Sex and the City, friend clusters eventually splinter when one member moves to Brooklyn. Better start running your game before you're left group-less in a defunct sitcom.
Her mouth is as big as Kim Kardashian's behind.
aka the Entourage men
This type of friend is a veritable Perez Hilton. Anything you tell her will undoubtedly make its way back to your latest love interest. On Entourage, Drama told anyone who'd listen about Turtle's "supposed" hookup with former Soprano's star Jamie Lynn-Sigler on an airplane. Turns out, the hook-up wasn't supposed at all, and Turtle ended up feeling the very real brunt of Drama's big mouth in the form of a drink in his face. Remember the whole lock your mouth and throw away the key routine? Get your loose-lipped friend to try that on for size.
He's everything you want in a man except he likes men, too.
aka Will from Will & Grace
He's smart, funny, and handsome, and he loves to shop. You could feasibly spend the rest of your life with him, if only he weren't gay. Takes notes from Will and Grace, who eventually had to break up the friendship to move on with their love lives. Unless celibacy's your thing, scaling back on QT with your gay BFF might help you start your love train.
You're the lone single girl among them.
aka The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Sheree Whitfield
Recent divorcee Sheree is no wall flower. The former wife of an NFL player knows what she wants in a man and is not afraid to express that on camera. Regardless, the rest of the Real Housewives cast is taken or married, which puts a different spin on girls' night out. Being a single among marrieds can have pros—they constantly want to set you up—and cons—they constantly want to set you up. Finding other single cohorts, so long as they don't exhibit the other 8 signs, can be good for your game.
Third wheel? More like third appendage.
aka Dr. House from House
Whether she's just been dumped or simply enjoys being the third wheel, inviting her to every couples activity is starting to wear your relationship thin. You don't want to push her away, but you need to stand up for your man and your precious alone time. Learn a lesson from Wilson on House who's sacrificed three marriages for his friendship with the crotchety Dr. House.
She always steals your thunder.
aka Anne Hathaway's character Kym in Rachel Getting Married
Kym—fresh out of rehab with chip firmly affixed to her shoulder—is the epitome of the thunder-stealing friend. Ok, she's technically Rachel the bride-to-be's sister, but close enough. You announce you're pregnant hoping to dissolve a fight. Without uttering so much as a "congrats," she announces it's unfair to change topics like that. Whether its with family or out flirting at a bar, some people always need to be the center of attention. Lucky for you, they don't always have to warrant yours.
She's Nancy Negativity
aka Saturday Night Live's "Debbie Downer"
The Debbie Downer type doesn't steal your thunder; she flattens it into a weepy, violin-playing pancake of gloom. You leave a lunch with her not only doubting yourself and your relationship, you kinda want to step into oncoming traffic. Unless some Prozac's in sight for the D-Squared in your life, she might be dead weight that you and your game do not need.
She sleeps with your boyfriend.
aka Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl
While Blair may be one of the needier, more selfish friends out there, Serena isn't exactly a Gossip Girl angel. After all, she did sleep with Nate Archibald while he was still Blair's boyf (and B was still a virgin herself). Yes they were drunk and, yes, Serena was devastatingly sorry, but let's just say your friend getting anywhere close to cozy with your guy is not a great sign.
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