From: Russia
There are so many things one can learn from this jewel of wisdom. Like that the guy who coined it probably spent that very night on the couch after comparing his wife to Lassie. Or that Russia apparently had some pretty clever dogs, back in whatever days this saying was constructed. This actually answers the question of why would they sent a canine to space when so many human peasants were abundant.
All in all, this reads like the testimony of a man who’s been put in the dog house far too often and decided one day to passive-aggressively take a shot at his wife, before caving in and buying her a bunch of roses, of course.
From: Japan
If you are a connoisseur of fine foreign pr0nography, you are well acquainted with the vast library of Japanese X-rated titles where the lonely housewife, feeling abandoned by her husband out on yet another business trip, discovers her own self respect in a 20-male-1-female orgy. This proverb kind of explains why this smut genre is so popular – it’s a part of the Japanese national consciousness.
On the other hand, perhaps there is a kind of chicken-or-the-egg thing in play here. Maybe it’s a saying born after the boom of the lonely Japanese housewife style of adult entertainment? We don’t know, but it’s nice to see that in a culture which apparently treasures infidelity so much, they at least still care for their cuckolded husbands’ health.
A House Without a Dog Or A Cat Is the House of A Scoundrel
From: Portugal
Personal experience shows that a house without a dog or a cat is foremost a house that smells nice and doesn’t spend half its budget on pet food and pet medical expenses. But above all else, a pet-less house is a house whose owner never had to touch poop that wasn’t his own unless he really wants to.
But then again, we have never been to Portugal, so maybe it’s a simple cultural difference and their country simply has more respect for people who take time out of their lives to take care of small furry animals? Imagine that – an entire country where our crazy cat ladies would be considered virtuous, noble people. Food for thought, people.
Angels Carry Drunkards On Their Arms
From: Poland
If there is anything drunkards and angels have in common, it’s that they are never truly on planet Earth, always flying somewhere high in the sky above the problems of the humans. Until the alcohol runs out and they wake up pants-less in some dirty alley. The drunkards that is, not the angels.
Poland is not helping its western reputation of being basically Little Russia by trying to impose religious undertones on their country’s alcoholism. Yeah, it’s cool to think that in your drunken stupor you’re under heavenly protection, but attitudes like that is what causes drunken driving accidents, people. Stop it.
From: Russia
Like the dog proverb before, this one also teaches us everything we need to know about Russian culture: their hair obviously generate their own gravity making them way heavier than regular hair. Which… we assume, is something to be proud of in Eastern Europe? Are Polish people known for having light hair? Is that an actual stereotype?
Because what else could it mean? Oh wait, maybe this connects with the Polish proverb before. If Angels carry drunkards on their arms and all Polish people are drunkards, it would make sense that they weigh less than a Russian hair. Excellent! Logic prevails!
From: Germany
Another misogynistic proverb on the list, but this one is way sneakier than the one about how women are below dogs in the great order of things. No, this one slowly lures you in by first saying women have the forms of angels, but before you even have the time to utter a small “Aww” the rest hits you in the face like a sack full of dirty bricks, when it ends with those less than flattering descriptions.
It’s hard not to imagine that the guy (yes, it had to be a guy) who came up with this nugget of wisdom did so after the hyperbilionth time a girl refused to go out on a date with him.
From: Albania
Some national animosities we can understand. Japan and China, The US and France, Australia and Mars. But where did this bad blood between Greece and Albania come from? Don’t the Albanians know their natural enemy is Ireland, after Liam Neeson destroyed the French arm of the Albanian mob in the movie “Taken”? Have they even seen this movie?!
Oh well, this proverb is still interesting on its own, allowing us insight to the Hellenic culture. From what we understand here, the Greek are the thieves of their region while Albanians all suffer from leprosy causing their appendages to easily fall off.
From: China
Proverbs are said to represent universal truths in the world, most often back up with personal experience, so you will understand if we pause a little with this saying, wondering just what in the bloody sausage is the history behind it!
Alright, so the implied meaning is pretty straightforward: don’t go overboard while solving trifle problems. We can all agree with that, but why the colorful comparison? It definitely is catchier this way, true, but on the other hand it’s also sort of diabolical and unsettling.
For the sake of mind, let’s pretend China simply has a vivid imagination and leave the matter at that.
From: UK
The British are known for their wit and a sort of quirky charm, what with their funny slang words of which almost all sound made up on the spot, like “gobbledygook”, “malarkey” or basically any technical term in cricket (seriously, what’s a “wicket”?) So it’s not really that surprising that their collective wisdom would be expressed via more colorful prose. The imagery here though is… interesting.
One is left to wonder, is the saying claiming that every little bit of effort DOES help, as insignificant as it may seem, or is this an ironic stab making fun of futile efforts? Knowing the British, both interpretations seem somehow correct. Then again, this might just be some underhanded jab at old people who don’t own toilets, which once more is definitely not below the folks in Britain.
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